lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
sarcasm needs its own font
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
