so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
