Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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