We won't sleep together?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
