he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
