What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
