I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
