Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
