Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
