remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Best friends brother. Beat that.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
