What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
