my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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