I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
