i was born a porn star she said
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
