I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
