Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Swine flu is the new snow day.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
