you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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