Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
