remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
is that a dick in a sweater?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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