I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
