Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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