we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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