I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
