I miss vodka workout Fridays
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
