It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
