The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
