Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
