I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
