So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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