Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
