I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
