fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
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