I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
