saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
