weddingsv make me drug and hornr
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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