Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
