I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
