Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
