i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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