Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
