Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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