You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
