Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
