Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Randomize
