Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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