that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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