Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
