Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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