I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
