oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
honey bunches of taint.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
