I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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