Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
