theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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