you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
