Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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