Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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